My entire life has been a journey encompassing so many things that I hate and will always stand against.

Bullying. Abuse. Pack mentality. Nastiness. Ridiculing people.

I don't understand why some people just want to be horrible. Surely the nicest thing in this world is to be nice and have others be nice back to you? A smile on the street makes my day, so abuse online ruins my week, makes me cancel my shoots and not want to even leave my house.

As some people are aware if they know me or have read this before, I have Alopecia, I have for almost a year and a half now I think maybe even longer, although when I was younger I did get bald patches at the top of my head as I was getting older. I had worn wigs before for fashion as I've always loved fake hair, so it seemed like now I needed them more than ever before. I had joined wig groups on Facebook before and made a lot of friends who had the same interests in hair as me.

I was told by my doctor a few weeks ago that my hair was strong enough now, it hadn't been dropping for ages and after I explained I wanted to get natural dreadlocks started they said it should be totally fine now. I was so excited to be beautiful, as to me, hair is what defines beauty. It was long enough to begin.

I recently put up a fundraiser, as my dreadlocks were messed up (not by myself), and the stress from this caused my hair to pull and fall out once again. I left the house and started crying on my husband, he had been silent the whole time the few dreads were put in, as he could see what was happening but did not want me to break down in front of the hairdresser.

Hair falls so quickly, you can rub your head and more comes out. By the time we got home that night I could shake my head and have it fall, I took out the dreads and cried over them, once again knowing I wasn't ever going to be like normal girls can be. I've tried explaining to my husband before that every time he says a girl's hair is nice it feels like he slapped me in the face.

I put a brave face on for Facebook and my fan page and my friends, just saying that they "hadn't worked" though a couple of my friends saw through this and asked if I was okay. So I shaved off my hair that was left, because I knew that it would hurt less than waking up with it all over my pillow again.
So it was all gone, and I didn't know what to do, I didn't have any money left after paying for trains to get my dreads done and indeed the dreads themselves. I was shooting the next week, how was I meant to be the best model I can be when I was so ugly and sad?

I cancelled my shoots, and told them what had happened, they all were sorry as they know how much this means to me. I had an idea that night as I saw a model that I really like had started a fundraiser on GoFundMe to have a flight paid for by her fans so she could tour other countries. It sounded a bit selfish to me, as she is paid a lot of money, but I thought; "I have a medical condition and I need the thing that makes me feel better, isn't that reason enough to have one of my own?" So I started a fundraiser.

Within minutes, I made my extremely modest target of £30 for one new wig, from a photographer I have only met and worked with once, I thanked him so much for being so generous...then more donations came in, from people I didn't know on my PayPal and also on my GoFundMe, so I had enough to buy three new wigs, and some people even sent me accessories and money specifically for a new dress they had chosen over the next few days from Fetlife. I was so honoured, flattered and happy that the kindness of strangers was a real thing, I never believed it before.

I ordered two wigs, and waited until I asked a lady I'm madly in love with what colour hair she wanted me to have, as I wanted to be perfect.

I started getting abuse on my GoFundMe within hours, it was shared in a wig based group and I started getting abusive messages. Mainly for having "fucked up my hair myself" and "lying" and "scrounging". I don't understand it. People would not have given me their money if they did not think my cause was justified and they did not have it to give? Why were these people shitting all over this kindness? It really hurt, and it hurt some of my generous friends too.

Some people don't understand that nobody ever chooses to have Alopecia. It just happens. It could happen to anyone, it might even happen to some of the people who were once again being nasty about me today in the wig groups. People who I have never met or even talked to before were saying that they hated me, this really hurt, and it still does. They've made me cry again, for having something wrong with me, and having to reach out for the very first time and actually ask people for help.

Now, I will never again ask anyone to help me when I am not able to cope on my own, as apparently that is a selfish and scrounging thing to do.

You can loose your hair at any time.
Anyone can get Alopecia.
Nobody deserves to be bullied for having an illness.
You bring badness on yourself by being bad to other people.

Lately I've seen a lot of hatred, particularly towards specific cultures, races and people.

I hope you realize, that the people you hate today, the people you share horrible photos about on Facebook, the people who you believe to be "evil" could very well be the people who save you tomorrow.

You "don't want" foreign nurses or doctors? What happens if they implement that and then there is no specialist for your operation, and you die?

 Maybe the organs that save your life come from someone who is a "foreigner".

The man on the street who calls the ambulance for you might not even speak the same language as you, but he still feels exactly as you do.

Propaganda is all the photos are, propaganda is what turned people to Nazism in World War Two. 

Please don't allow fear and hatred to shape you as a person, instead, shape yourself with love, acceptance and joy.

Do not let them rule you, do not let yourself become an instrument to the destruction of love.

*~~Part 1 of: Gothic Trials and Tribulations~~*

Every Goth's Nightmare; imperfect eyebrows.

Trials and Tribulations is a new series of posts that will highlight things that drive all us darkling beauties insane, feel free to send yours in!

So if you're like me and a lot of my other freaky friends, chances are you shave off or shape most, if not all of, your brows!

I've done most all of the fabulously funky and downright awful goth brow styles going, I'm going to take you through the good ~ the bad ~ and the beautiful!

** For priming my skin before perfect eyebrows, if I am shooting or going out and want a perfectly polished looking base, I use my Naturals Collection concealer first, wait for it to dry, or apply some powder to my T zone to avoid shiny skin, then carefully draw the design on, in either pencil or liquid eyeliner. 

I do this because one of my pet hates is people who shave off their brows and don't realize the skin on their foreheads is a lot whiter than the rest of their face - awkward!!

The good;

The super-gawf

I like these, simply because; sometimes a girl needs all the fierce! These are always fun to do but a complete bitch to ever actually get right! I am guilty of white-space-brows here, yeesh, that sorta ruins it for me xD

The Slightly-upturned-signyfing angry

I actually love these, I thought turning them up at the points would help my rage face, it totally did. Also the random little spikes looked pretty sweet in ze end :D

The don't-even-care-double

So these were not everyone's cup of chai and probably won't be yours either, but I thought they were a bloody stroke of genius at the time! Pink and blue, matches the makeup and lippie, pssh, what more could you want?!

The Grouch

Me being me decided that obviously my brows needed to match my fluffy bear hat, which they did pretty damned perfectly :D I really loved these, as I've never really seen green eyebrows done that well before and I still think I pulled these off!

The bad;

The shocked woman

I am fully aware that my facial expression isn't doing me much justice, but never were these bloody awful brows! The points are uneven, and swept much too high for a pin-up look :( ho hum, back to the drawing board!

The dear-god-why-would-I-have-natural-anything?!

So yeah I look pretty smokin' ( if I do say so myself, which I do ;D ) considering this was a pretty bad shoot, I liked everything, but afterwards what are those FREAKING CATERPILLARS DOING ON MY FACE. A recent poll has confirmed that I should in no way be natural, ever, in any way, nope.

The archetypical Gothique fail

Now before you all giggle your tits off I'm damned sure we've all been guilty of this one at some point or other...Oooh these eyebrows look perfect on this "goth eyebrows" Google search, I could totally do those myself! nononononono

The I'm-going-for-a-blue-thing-geddit

I am sorry, I am so so sorry. I thought I was going for an awesome bubble-goth-candy-raver thing but I ended up an un-hot mess :/ Blue eyeliner all over doesn't suit anyone anyways but matching eyebrows really ruined it! Too much blue in one photo, 0/10 would not admit that's me.

The uber-gawfik-curvezz

I did these all the bloody time and I still have no idea why...it's not a good look! Why drag the corners down so they touch my eyeliner? I have no idea, and all I can do is apologize profusely.

The GROW OUT YOU BASTARDS

I went through a stage of wanting my eyebrows back, I'm not overly sure why, but this was the result. A tardy Aizun face and some barely-there brows that look silly, even when I tried to pluck them into submission.

The light blue mess

I hate the slightly circular shape, I hate the sheeny peacocky blue, and I hate the hair. Overall - hate out of 100.

The beautiful;

 The Siouxsie Sioux's! 

These are my absolute favourite brows ever, although they always have a very mixed reaction! Some of my friends think they make me look like a sad puppy, whereas others can't believe how even I get them :D practice makes perfect, but I wouldn't recommend you trying these without the complete Eighties look, they take ages to get right, and even then they are very much not for everyone.

The curved Siouxsie

The curved Siouxsie really mixed up the regular Siouxsie brows a bit for a dramatic Halloween look :) Hard to get level and even but I think I did pretty well!

The extreme shape

I really do love these and do these more than most other styles here! Just above the eyeliner so no joining them up faux-pas! Epic curved shape, perfect for really dark looks or gothing up regular outfits!

Fierce perfection

Like the above but these just went *perfect* that day for some reason.

The Candy Rave

I love everything about these, the dots, the coupling of pink and blue, the super thick pink eyeliner <3 ugh, lovely! Also I've never got the staple goth "face-dots" that amazing ever again xD

 So I hope you liked reading through these and looking at laughing at the photos, I want to see some of your goth fails too so email me at necroghoul13@rocketmail.com with the title "reader goth fails" and some photos, and I'll include you on my blog <3

Also next time I will be showing you other hilarious makeup things that I thought were great at the time xD dotty eyebrows...just why?!

xx

Just a little note that aesthetically speaking, the blog has undergone some changes, and so have I!

Keep it real d00dz :)

Will have more reviews for you soon; KinkyAngel, Phaze and more makeup bag! Also some insights on the modelling world (the good, the bad and the awful) and loving your body.

Until then <3

xx

inside the makeup bag...

So I thought that I should a sweet little look inside what sort of beauty and makeup products I use to give people some nice reviews, comments and maybe help them choose something that's perfect for them!

Now, obviously some people like a huge mirror to do their makeup in, but not me! It's more important for me to focus on the itty bitty details when in the process of *doing my face* so I have this;

My brother scored some seeerious sibling points when he got me that! Obviously it's pink and HK, two of my favourite things ^_^ perfect for the smaller details to make sure everything is perfect!

                                                   ~

I annoy a lot of people by using nothing before my concealer, I feel if I use a primer or anything that my skin becomes cloggy, I'm prone to spots as my job involves being under hot lights a lot of the time so this way is easier for me!

This is without a doubt my favourite ever concealer! It fits my skin tone well, but also gives me a bit more colour so I don't look like a ghost! I adore the Boot's Natural Collection range, everything is so cheap but great quality :D

I'm wearing it in this shoot photo, I feel it really makes my skin look flawless, but it's not so heavy to make you look plastic! Also the majority of the NC products are £1-4 which is perfect for me!

                                                      ~

Next in the bag is something I bought on a whim, one of Gosh's Natural Blushes, in the highly popular Flower Power! There are so many rave reviews about this product that I had seen before ever even using a blusher! I decided to get one after deciding it was what I was missing in my fabulous Fifties look!

This colour gives my skin a perfect porcelain doll look, especially if applied twice. I like an obvious blush, in my opinion it's prettier than putting one on you can't even see! My skin has had a lot of compliments since buying this!

It just gives such a pretty colour that works with everything! It was £4.99 which doesn't break the bank at all ^_^

                                                      ~

After the blush we have another Naturals Collection product; the Lash Definition mascara! You only need a teeny bit, I just use it on the top lashes for a nicer curl. It clumps up very easily so it's a product best used sparingly!

It is a nice, cheap little mascara that I don't feel guilty buying, unlike some of the £8 ones!

Next up is a liquid eyeliner that I bought after not being able to find my old faithful one anywhere! I only bought this cos I think it was the cheapest one on eBay that came with an eyebrow pencil xD I was actually pleasantly surprised!

As you can see, these are pretty, bright colours and are from Asia :) mine is actually a nice shiny red but I can't find a photo of that one >_< the brush is perfect for application of the waterproof liquid eyeliner. People always say they love my eyeliner but they themselves find liquid really difficult to do, trust me, practice does make perfect!

Also for some reason these are really chunky tubes, which makes me happy as the little, fiddly eyeliner pots really annoy me and are quite likely to get stolen by the kitten :)

                                                  ~

For applying my blush, I guess you should see the brush! I bought a nice, soft brush from Superdrug's Pro line, as they're nice and big and really great quality.

I have the brush on the far left ^~^ perfect, soft application of powders, really recommend getting one of these! Mine is silver handled :)

                                                ~

Up next is my favourite part of my makeup routine, the lips! After a good lip scrub (always from Lush!) I use an old favourite, the Strawberry Chapstick to soften my lips before applying anything!

It really gives the perfect base for applying lipstick so it doesn't go on mega thick! Plus a strawberry scent is really, always a winner :D

                                                   ~

For lining the lips I always use one of the following two products, depending upon how long I'll be wearing the lipstick for. For long term application I use Max Factor's Colour Elixir Lip Liner in Pink Princess. It's more a rosy pink colour than the usual colour I would associate with princessy makeup!

The staying power is perfect, with zero bleeding! Stays put all day, which is great for me for shoots!

The second lip liner I use, which is just for short term colours, usually for photo-shoots, is the Stargazer Semi Permanent Tattoo Pen in Pink.

The colours on these are not that bright which is easy for lining lips, plus they do glide on easily and keep bleeding to a minimum, obviously they don't stay put long so better for short term use.

                                                     ~

This is the ultimate lipstick in my opinion, my favourite ever shade of red that hasn't been orangey or too dark! It's the Vixen Maxi Lipstick by the Body Collection. I've never ever suited red lipstick before, but this one is so beautiful, it glides on amazingly smooth and blots well for lip staining. I just wish I didn't use it so quickly! I've been paying between £2-3 for them online, which you really can't argue with!

I just cannot rate this highly enough, and it's almost an exact colour match for a high-end lippie that costs a bomb! Can you guess which one :3

I used to never leave the house without eyeliner on, now I'm all about the pin-up lips! No matter where I'm going, I need the big flashy smile!

It's such a great colour right?!

                                                   ~

Last but not least, I use a well recommended Avon product for drawing on the old eyebrows, blackest black of course! Glimmersticks eyeliner rather than the brow definer, simply because it goes on thicker!

I feel that with my Rockabilly look, a pencil for eyebrows looks much nicer than liquid eyeliner eyebrows! I love these, I really like Avon makeup anyway, but these don't break the bank and are really easy to find online at a cheaper price :)

You get a nice smooth finish :D

                                     

                                                     ~

So I really hope you enjoyed this post here! 

I love makeup, buying new bits and discovering bargains, but having a makeup bag full of utterly perfect products really makes a different to how good I feel about myself ^_^

Also, I hope you liked the teaser shots from one of my new shoots!

xx

*~~Review; Annabelle's Wigs~~*

I really can't express how gutted I am right now, I was so looking forward to receiving my Bettie Page hair from this company, now I wish I had looked somewhere else instead!

Their site; Annabelles' Wigs does look nice and professional, there is a good variety of products, although some are very, very over-priced for what they are, such as these ones; Pastel wigs...for the love of all that is gorgeous don't pay £25+ for these, they are Chinese eBay store one-day cosplay quality and you can get them everywhere else for £1-5!

Now I had my eye on this wig for months, the aptly named; Bettie. It was exactly what I wanted for my upcoming pin-up shoots with the styles of *the lady herself*. As you can see from the reviews, everyone does like it but a lady has a problem with the fringe not being right...

I tried this on straight out of the bag after putting on all the bits of my Bettie outfit and doing my makeup as perfectly as I could, the result was this;

I did really like it as yeah it is really pretty and it does suit me, but this isn't Bettie Page hair!! Obviously the fringe was way too long and it was meant to be a straight cut, like the photo on the website;

Which it sure ain't. 

I'm sure you can spot the problem right?! When compared to Bettie's hair, the wig I received just is not right at all.

So I'm pretty annoyed right now...I then decided to use my scissor skills and cut the fringe right, it was then that I noticed that whatever complete muppet made this, has sewn the wefts funny, the hair doesn't lie straight on the fringe, it goes to the left and right, now that, is not a full fringe -_-

Even as the above photo after the cut shows, it doesn't lay right no matter what you do :/

I've since tried to straighten it on the lowest heat setting of my straighteners (1 out of 25 settings) and it has bobbled straight away.

So all in all, I am extremely disappointed with Annabelle's Wigs, I wish I hadn't bothered to be honest, but I need this hair for a shoot happening tomorrow!! 

Now I'm stuck with hair I can't style properly, daren't cut any more of, and doesn't look right.

:(

Postage costs; 4/5

Postage time; 4/5

Packaging; 5/5

Wearability; 3/5

Shine; 5/5

Styling; 1/5

Likeness; 1/5

Not great...not great.

Get fabulous hair with Coscraft!

Coscraft is my absolute favourite place online to buy wigs! They sell both wigs that are totally perfect for both fashion and Cosplay purposes!

I'm going to take you through all the Coscraft wigs I've ever bought, with marks out of five for different aspects ^_^ I'm also going to include the stock photos, the links to purchase the wigs and if I have them; modelled photos!

The Kate in Black

 This was one of my most recent purchases from Coscraft, and it really was absolutely stunning out of the bag! Unfortunately I found the top a bit lumpy when I did try it on, but then longer wigs always seem to do this for me :( however it was gorgeous to brush, easy to back-comb and straighten again and really beautiful on! Also because it was super long it got tangled very, very easily. Perfect Gothic hair though :)

And here's me wearing it!

Wearability; 3/5 lots of flicking it about as it's so straight.
Not fake looking; 3/5
Not shiny looking; 3/5 under lights it's quite obviously fake.
Overall; 9/15
Recommended for cosplay rather than fashion :)

The Alex in Red

I adored this hair so very much! The red colour was so beautiful and really pretty :D the exact sort of red that I adore! I don't have any photos of me in this any more which is sad as it was really cute when worn :( this was such a sexeh wig!

Wearability; 4/5 obviously still lots of tangling as it was so long!
Not fake looking; 4/5 - not as shiny-obvious as most!
Not shiny looking; 5/5 - very good and not very shiny at all!
Overall; 13/15
Recommended for fashion and Cosplay!

The Alex in Very Pale Blonde

I wore this wig for weeks and weeks, which if you know me, you will understand is an extremely rare occurrence, they usually never last longer than two weeks! This wig was one of my all time favourites, it looked extremely natural on me, and the colour was beautiful. Still a bugger with regards to tangling, but as the hair fibres on these are so smooth they always brush out well.

 Please excuse my face, I wasn't wearing any base makeup xD

Wearability; 4/5 - only awkward bit was the fringe!
Not fake looking; 5/5 - everyone thought it was real!
Not shiny looking; 4/5 - only went shiny under very bright camera flash.
Overall; 13/15
Recommended for fashion and Cosplay!

The Alex in Deep Purple

Now this I saved up for for ages as I really loved the colour! Unfortunately it looked really bad on me for some reason, might have been the purple! However it was a really funky colour, but nothing I did to it style wise looked right on me! As such I have no worn photos, I think I deleted them all in disgust xD

Wearability; 2/5 - was my first super long wig and was awkward.
Not fake looking; 3/5 - not overly so but something a bit...off?!
Not shiny looking; 5/5 - not at all shiny, even in sunlight!
Overall; 10/15
Recommended for Cosplay.

*~~And now my current absolute favourite ever hair~~*

The Betty in Black

I am in love with this wig, seriously. I decided to bite the bullet and buy it, even though I had no idea how it would look and my last try with a short, curly wig was truly hideous! This however, straight out of the bag was so pretty :D it took some getting used to, simply as it was such a different style for my face, but I adore it. Gets a lot of compliments as it really suits me and looks really! Best part for me is that it needs no styling at all, the curls stay perfect, only thing you need to faff around with is the fringe :)

As you can see, the Betty makes me very smiley :D my only annoyance really is the fringe, I spray it back but it just flops to my face again, learning to keep my head up high at all times! I wear this every single day and it hasn't let me down yet <3

Wearability; 5/5 - was my first super long wig and was awkward.
Not fake looking; 5/5 - I think it looks very real! People agree :D
Not shiny looking; 4/5 - Only under flash up close does it look wiggish!
Overall; 14/15
Recommended for every day, fashion and Cosplay! 

*~~ So that's it from me with regards to Coscraft wigs! I hope you liked this blog, next time I'll be reviewing different wig sellers and brands :D

In the mean time; some links!

Coscraft website and shop

Coscraft eBay listings


                                                                         xx