*~~Why I think that the world's views of sexualisation need to change, quickly~~*

Firstly, I've never really considered myself to be a Feminist, I think everyone in this world is equal, regardless of Religion, Sex or colour, I want to help everyone better themselves, for the greater good! I also, adore most types of alternative fashion and wouldn't bad-mouth any, but I have noticed, the more years I'm around, the more sexualised people are becoming at younger ages, even alternative people.

For me, there is nothing worse than being told you're hot/sexy etc, as it's not really a compliment, it's someone, saying, most likely with their penis, that you are attractive in a sexual way.
Now correct me if I am wrong, isn't everyone attractive in a sexual way? The way we mate, the people we date, it all leads up to sex and reproduction for most people, so I don't think being told somebody wants to bone me is all that nice a compliment to be honest!
I'm of the opinion that anyone can make themselves sexy, be it with clothes or makeup, but it takes a great talent to be natural, cutesy or sweet in this day and age and to go against what media, makeup brands and clothing brands are making us; specifically sexualised beings.

Even alternative girls get this, when Alt/Goth/Punk etc is meant to be an anti-fashion, it has become too much of a regular fashion now, and there are branches of it that are pretty much supposed to be about sexual reactions through the person's love of the clothing they are wearing, such as fetish or bondage clothing, which is great if you're an adult and have the balls to do it and take the rage you'll undoubtedly get, but there seems to be sexualised clothing for younger and younger people now.
I myself was a Fetish Goth for many, many years, and I loved the PVC, Vinyl and short skirts I wore with my teeny tiny corsets, but I would always say "Why do people keep grabbing my ass?" or "Why is everyone staring at me?" it didn't occur to me at the time that I had over-sexualised myself through fashion, and that's why I got so much negative attention. I never was told I was pretty or intelligent or fun, I was always hot, sexy and fuckable, such a horrible word.

I first discovered Lolita fashion when I was about thirteen years old, I loved how anyone could look like a fairytale princess or a pastel coloured fairy, it looked beautiful! I had only ever received negative remarks about wearing band tops and bondage pants, it made me feel sick, I didn't want to wear that stuff, but I didn't want to be normal, I wanted to be these Harajuku girls.
Also, something that hadn't twigged for me before, but did the more I wore the fashion when I was much older, I didn't get any sexual remarks when I was in my Lolita gear, boys left me alone, nobody shouted out asking to see my bewbs, people stared at me of course because I was different, but for very different reasons.
When Gothic or Punk styled, little kids would avoid me and look scared, believe me when I say I am the least scary person ever! I hate confrontation and fights and like to avoid them, and it made me sad that the way I looked made me seem terrifying! 

I took a good hard look at myself in the mirror, and realised that the way I looked made people see me as a bad or slutty person due to their own closed-mindedness, I understood why people said I looked "beautiful, but in a stuck-up way", I did! The negative remarks made me feel negative about myself, bad but true, it's just human nature.
 Cruel beauty is just that, beautiful, but ultimately, fake. Ask people to look at photos of most alt girls, they say the same thing, they look mean, scary or stuck-up, sure a large proportion of them obviously are not like that and are lovely and sweet girls, but alternative to a lot of people is something negative, and that makes me really sad :(

I decided I didn't want to be sexualised anymore, I wanted to be seen as pretty, not sexy, I wanted to be cute and childish, silly and happy. I wanted people to see the real me underneath, clever and fun, able to tell awful jokes and stupid stories, not another girl with her ass hanging out, it really does take a lot more confidence to be modest.
I started dressing Lolita again recently, to do all these things and more. To me, the cutesy colours, the happy-go-lucky attitude and the over-the-top sweet stylings was exactly what I needed, no matter what anyone else thought.
Now, little girls ask me if I'm a princess, why am I on the bus when surely I must have a carriage? It's a breath of fresh air to be smiled at, asked adorable questions and even have people look up to me for saying "No!" in what is, unfortunately, a very male-orientated and sex-driven world. I like being the epitome of cute, I like standing-out in a good way.
Embracing my inner child and letting her out feels good, I can collect dolls, I can buy sweet jewellery bedecked with pandas and bows, I can be me, and nobody asks to see the body underneath, because of the aura I give off - *I'm just nice, that's all*.

If anyone shouts out a comment now, it's to ask where my sheep are, and really, I think that's much better than asking me to lift up my skirt or show my chest! People leave me alone with a smile, or they ask me about the way I dress, they are interested in this bouncy pastel person smiling away at them, nobody says mean things, sure they stare, but as a Lolita, a smile to a staring person in the street is seen as much friendlier than a smile from a Gothic lady, we need to change that, as women and for women.

I think that we, as women, and men too of course, need to change people's views of alternative fashion, we need to show that we are all people, regardless of how we dress, who we are or how we look. I wish I could unite us all, I really do.

xx